About 20 or so years ago I worked for a company that initially was a hoot to work for. But that failed miserably, but I won't go there. This is a fun quirky piece I wrote about the people that worked there and read it to them at Christmas, my gift to them. When reading it, you will be able to tell a little bit about their true character, some parts though you would have had to know the story behind it.
Now just so you know. I am "Wee Wee" in this character profile. (Of course I didn't leave me out, what kind of person do you think I am?) Anyway, all fun and games, and a little bit of truth.
Read on!
Twas
The Night Before The Night Before Christmas
Twas
The Night Before The Night Before Christmas.
All
the phoners were stirring, except for a few, who fancied themselves as the
elite crew.
Mucky
Muck was working away, she would get a sale come what may.
She
whirled and turned and fell over her cord, Mucky Muck oh my lord!
Hey
keep working yelled Chop Chop!
Who
said you could quit?
Who
told you to stop?
Why
just last week I saw something stunning, it was all of you working while my car
kept on running.
How
can I make a great vacation and not have to check,
I
don’t want to worry cause I am a lady redneck.
Florida
calls me. It’s a mania I know, but heck who asked you, not me I know!
I
have my auto running, you are all so right, I may also leave it, well maybe all
night.
Wee
Wee was laughing and giving a look, she was so short she sat on a book.
The
floor was all crunchy like a field of weeds, but it wasn’t grassy, it was
sunflower seeds.
She
ate them in bunches with a grin and a smile, she ate them all day and then for
a while.
The
gang was all snuggled in their chairs, with visions of sales dancing in their
heads.
When
out on the floor there rose such a clatter, that all of the staff jumped to see
what was the matter.
There
on the floor howling in pain was the Marathon Man.
He
was writhing and shaking, chest hair caught in his chain.
He
begged the big guys to cover him up, he didn’t want the ladies to see what was
up.
Then
into the room came Focus Factor, prancing and pawing like someone had smacked
her.
Keep
working! Keep working! She said with a smile, I didn’t see the hay loft for
even a mile.
She
was queen of the service or so someone said, mus ta been the tiara akimbo on her
head.
Must
have been the dumpsters Mucky Muck said, I find the strangest stuff for your
head.
Then
it was Legs to rescue his kilt, flying large, he had been working on a Mensa
barge.
Then
down through the chimney came Ginger Brae D Rose.
He
smiled and said folks no matter how you slice it, it’s still pate foi gras, or
is that bologna stuck in your nose?
He
read aloud from the heavy thesaurus, its for your own good it has to be for us.
Sassy
was classy or so Santa said, he seems to know her, “Oh no, I’m not dead.”
She
whispers and pants and laughs at the guys, she says your no Paul Simon, just
ask Santa, he’ll tell you no lies.
Then
came the Pastor rubbing his nose, I am here to free all you unwashed souls. Here
at …….(company Name), you will see, the brother is hear to set you free.
Then
into the office came Smooth Operator, he was trying to start his Gin Generator.
His eyes were all red they made him look glum, mus ta been his date or perhaps
the cheap rum.
Then
came the fisher woman, Fabulous by name, sporting a new rod, Orvis by name. She
longed for her own show like that old fishing codger, or was it just reruns of
old Mr. Rogers. She was collecting her pennies for her Oahu trip there she
would take an ocean side dip.
She
may have some money but certainly no cents, since the crew was not taking any
more hints.
They
all whispered and chuckled and faces got red, all of her customers seemed kinda
dead.
Then
in mystery came a thin fellow, his desk all decked out in crime scene yellow.
He denied it all though the staff did imply, but he just couldn’t argue with
the FBI.
Mystery
of mysteries they all seemed to say, what do you keep buried in all of that
hay.
But
surely as surely they all worked together except for miss Weirdo who cut loose
her tether.
She
wore a coat made with Llama fur, or so they say, for they came and got her and
carried her away.
Some
say for poaching, some say for less, but stealing a Llama was Interpol's guess.
And
there you have it, an eves eve.
Write
in blue ink at least on your sleeve.
When
Christmas comes, and all are selfish,
Down
will come Santa a little bit elfish.
Perhaps
it will be a party like most, with wee little elves as the holiday host.
But
for each of the staff that don’t believe in elves, perhaps they will believe in
their dirty old selves.
To
all and to all good night
By
Wee Wee
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